EP 162: When You Wish You Had Never Been Born: Job Part Three

Diana WinklerDomestic Violence

There are some times in your life that are so bad that you wish you had never been born>It might have been easier. That is how Job was feeling after losing it all. We are continuing our series on Job where we will be talking about worshipping in the midst of suffering, lamenting, and the right way to help a loved one during mourning.

Link Tree

Website: https://dswministries.org

Email: diana@dswministries.org

Social media links:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DSW-Ministries-230135337033879

Twitter: https://twitter.com/DswMinistries

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxgIpWVQCmjqog0PMK4khDw/playlists

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dswministries/

Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeart Radio, Google Podcasts, Pandora, Stitcher, Listen Notes

Keep in touch with me! Email subscribe to get my handpicked list of the best resources for abuse survivors! https://thoughtful-composer-4268.ck.page #abuse #trauma

Mentoring https://youtu.be/WWgkERpkIoY

An easy way to help my ministry:

A donation link:

Affiliate links:

Can’t travel to The Holy Land right now? The next best thing is Walking The Bible Lands! Get a free video sample of the Bible lands here!


Get one free month of Blubrry podcast hosting with the promotional code: FAITHFUL


Get quality podcast guests and interviews from PodMatch! Get paid to be a host! Sign up below:


Visit my friends at the Heal Thrive Dream Boutique for some cool T-shirts, jewelry and other merch! Simply share the discount code we created just for you and receive a 10% discount on your order!



Bible Study Notebook From Karen Robinson! Check it out!


Karen Robinson’s Trauma Coaching


Free Healing Coaching Intensive


Job part 3

[00:00:00] Have you ever had a day that was so bad that you regretted that you were even born? Job did.

[00:00:08] We are continuing our series on the book of Job. We’re going to be talking about that very thing That’s next on the Wounds of the Faithful podcast.

[00:00:20] Welcome to the Wounds of the Faithful podcast, brought to you by DSW Ministries. Your host is singer, songwriter, speaker, and domestic violence advocate, Diana Winkler. She is passionate about helping survivors in the church heal from domestic violence and abuse and trauma. This podcast is not a substitute for professional counseling or qualified medical help.

[00:00:46] Now, here is Diana.

[00:00:54] Hello, hello, welcome. I’m glad to be here with you on this [00:01:00] fine day.

[00:01:00] The weather is getting cooler and the holidays are coming, so hold on.

[00:01:06] Now, as I stated in the intro, we’re going to continue our series on Job, and I hope that you’ve been reading along with me, reading ahead, maybe coming up with some of your own discoveries. This is a huge book, as you probably already know, and we’re going to start looking at the different

[00:01:30] Things about lamentating, lamentation. We talked about that when we were studying Isaiah and Jeremiah. So let’s briefly review. If you haven’t, listened to part one or part two, please go back and listen to those because you’re going to miss out on some important information unless you are.

[00:01:53] Extremely familiar with it, then fine, just jump right in here on part three. I [00:02:00] love the Word of God and I am studying diligently to bring you some truths that you can apply to your life, that some things you might not have noticed in the Book of Job.

[00:02:10] I’m just going to briefly summarize what we’ve learned so far, or what’s been going on up to this point. So, we have Job, he has a large family, he’s Extremely wealthy, probably one of the wealthiest men in that region at the time, and he was a very godly man.

[00:02:32] He trusted God. He respected God. He worshipped God. And always trying to do the right thing for his family. And all in one day, he lost his children. He lost his home. He lost his livestock. And now we have a skin disease that is excruciating, itchy, and horrible. And there are [00:03:00] some other things that he’s suffering too along in the book that we will definitely cover as we go along.

[00:03:06] So after he lost everything, he worshiped. That was his first reaction. His wife was not very happy. Of course, we can understand that. She told Job to curse God and die. We talked about her, perspective, her suffering. Bible doesn’t really talk much about her suffering. This was primarily about Job and his friends that joined him.

[00:03:34] But as we know, he did not sin or charge God with wrongdoing. and we have, you know, the devil, of course. We talked about angels, the devil, of course, coming to the throne room, and accusing Job to the Lord. Hey, you know, you protect him, and that’s the only reason why he’s worshipping you. And we stated very strongly that Satan is [00:04:00] the accuser here. And people like to use the word, you know, they’re playing a game.

[00:04:06] gambling with his life, Satan has all this power, blah, blah, blah. Satan only has what power God gives him, and Satan does all these things to accuse us. And so we want to keep that in mind when we’re reading this. We have the privilege, after the fact, knowing what’s going on behind the scenes.

[00:04:28] It’s kind of easier to deal with this.

[00:04:32] So just to talk a little bit more about, losing everything all at once. I like what Charles Spurgeon says here. About his prosperity. It says his prior prosperity was not due to luck or mere human ingenuity. It was because of the great and powerful blessing of God upon his life. I am so pleased to think that Job recognized the hand of God everywhere [00:05:00] giving.

[00:05:00] He said the Lord gave. He did not say I earned it all. He did not say there are all my hard earned savings gone. So, all the good gifts that we receive in this life are from God, and they’re gifts. They’re unearned.

[00:05:17] And another commentator says, his name is Anderson, Job sees only the hand of God in these events. It never occurs to him to curse the desert brigands, to curse the frontier guards, to curse his own stupid servants now lying dead for their watchlessness. All secondary causes. It was the Lord who gave, it was the Lord who removed, and in the Lord alone must the explanation of these strange happenings be sought.

[00:05:51] So we are forced to look up when we’re going through these terrible trials. We’ve all gone through terrible suffering. It [00:06:00] forces us to look up because there is nowhere else to go. If you don’t have your friends, your spouse, your health, you’re penniless. The only way to look is up.

[00:06:11] That is our choice.

[00:06:13] Knowing that God gives us gifts with thoughtfulness and his kindness, that sweetens what we have. It makes it more precious. Most of us in the United States have a lot of things that maybe other countries don’t have. Third world countries, there are also places in the United States that are very, very poor and they don’t have what maybe some other parts of the country have.

[00:06:40] So,

[00:06:41] we are always to be grateful for what we do have right now. And yes, the Lord has given us many blessings this year. I am very careful to be thankful for those things. but I also recognize that they could disappear at any time. My job, for [00:07:00] instance, it disappeared very quickly. I had no control over it. Now, those of you that know the ending to Job, spoiler alert to those that don’t, Job does get restored. Twice as much as what he had before. I got even. a better job than I had before, and I could never imagine when I lost my previous job that I had been with so long that I would ever be in my dream company.

[00:07:29] And it has changed my life in so many ways, my husband’s too. And

[00:07:34] yes, I knew God was going to give me, a job and he was going to provide for my family, but he’s gone above and beyond. Now we’ll talk about this later about, when Job is restored. Don’t want to say too much about it yet because we are in this section when he’s miserable. He’s lost everything.

[00:07:55] Oh, this is spiritual warfare. Satan

[00:07:59] [00:08:00] has not won in this case. He was not successful. He threw everything at him that he could, that God allowed to happen. I’m sure it could have been much worse. We have to keep that in mind. Although the boils are horrible, losing all of your material possessions, and all of your children, he did still have his wife, even though she is in mourning as well.

[00:08:26] He still had the Lord. He still had his friends that came to visit him. We’re going to get into, uh, those conversations. And I hope you don’t have friends like Job did. but our faith is going to be tested throughout this life. Don’t fall for the, prosperity gospel. That means that if you do all the right things, then you’re gonna be rich. You might if you follow a budget, if you save your money, if you, invest, you work hard.

[00:08:57] Yeah, you can be [00:09:00] successful, but the prosperity gospel means,

[00:09:03] God owes you something for doing all this stuff, for following him. Then you’re automatically, prosperous and rich. That is not always the case. There are many godly people in the Bible that we have studied already that love the Lord, did all the right things, and they suffered tremendously.

[00:09:23] They lost loved ones, they have lost their dignity, their health, and we don’t really want to hear that. We want to think that our efforts is what makes us prosper. God is obligated to prosper us. He may prosper us. He may restore to us double of what we lost. Many,

[00:09:48] abuse survivors, they don’t want to leave because they’re afraid of losing what little they have. And when they finally do leave, myself included, when they finally do leave, [00:10:00] and yes, it is very difficult, you going through the fire, leaving your abuser and going out into the world, sometimes for the first time, getting a job, or.

[00:10:10] Being on your own, I had never lived by myself before. I’ve always had roommates or lived with my parents or I’ve been married. but when you come out of all of that, many of you have told me that god has abundantly blessed me more than I could ever imagine. I wish I would have done it sooner. I’m away from my abuser. I have a good job. My kids are in a good school. They don’t have to watch the abuse anymore or they don’t have to suffer abuse done to them. You have learned to Manage money. I found love again someone that really loves me And so that does happen.

[00:10:52] [00:10:52] So let’s see here. We’re in chapter two And i’m in verse 11. This is where i’m going to [00:11:00] start today Now, when Job’s three friends heard of all of this evil that had come upon him, they came each from his own place. Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuite, and Zophar the Namethite. They made an appointment together to come to show him sympathy and comfort him.

[00:11:24] And when they saw him from a distance, They did not recognize him, and they raised their voices and wept, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads towards heaven. And they sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him. For they saw that his suffering was unbearable.

[00:11:49] Was very great.

[00:11:51] We’re going to learn specifically about each of these friends. And there’s a fourth friend that’s in here that is not mentioned [00:12:00] yet. they came from a long way. How did they know? They didn’t have the internet. They didn’t have telephones. They didn’t have telegrams. They didn’t have TV. All of you young folks are wondering.

[00:12:12] most of the news back in the day came from the caravans.

[00:12:17] You bought and sold things from the caravans that came in. They would travel, like, from up from Egypt, and they would sell spices and fabrics and other things that people would want to trade for, and they would bring news. And this was breaking news. Have you heard that Job lost everything? All these terrible things happened to Job and You know, the word spread probably from, messengers, Job’s servants that were left probably could have spread the word to their families.

[00:12:59] [00:13:00] We don’t know what happened with Job’s wife in between. Maybe she went to her parents. We don’t know. This is speculative on that. Maybe her, her family spread the word too. So there are ways. You have the Pony Express. To deliver the mail by horse. I’m sure they could have done that with camels and horses back in the day.

[00:13:21] So, they came from a long way,

[00:13:24] not expecting what they saw. It was worse than they thought. Now, these friends, what they did here is correct, is right. This is probably their only redeeming quality here is what they did the first seven days is what we should do with other people that we meet that are mourning.

[00:13:46] They wept with him. They tore their robes just like he did. This is a traditional way of mourning back in the day. They sat with him for seven days and seven nights. I [00:14:00] understand that that is traditional also.

[00:14:03] This is a Jewish mourning called sitting Shiva, sitting for seven, it means.

[00:14:11] And they recognized that his suffering was very great. so this is a big lesson for us because half the time we don’t know what to say to somebody that is suffering or somebody died and we open our mouth and we say something stupid. Have you ever done that? I think I have. I always say, I’ll pray for you and, you know, here’s a casserole. I have stopped saying, all things work together for good.

[00:14:40] I’ve stopped quoting Bible verses to somebody that’s mourning because they don’t really need to hear that right now. What they need. at this time is for you to be there for them. You don’t have to say anything. You can cry with them. You can hug them if they are okay with hugging. Yeah, you [00:15:00] can bring some meals.

[00:15:01] Be sure to ask what they like

[00:15:04] and to acknowledge that what they’re going through is horrible. This sucks. We don’t want to do the, well, at least you didn’t fill in the blank. At least you didn’t lose Your wife, blah blah blah. At least you weren’t in the house when it collapsed. I think Job probably would have wanted to be there with his children when that building collapsed on them.

[00:15:30] I know I would have. I would not want to survive that, to be honest with you.

[00:15:35] So let’s go on to chapter 3. We’ve got lots of things in here. Verse 1. After this, Job opened his mouth and cursed the day of his birth, and Job said, Let the day perish on which I was born, And the night that said, A man is conceived. Let that day be darkness, may God above not seek it, Nor light shine [00:16:00] upon it.

[00:16:00] Let gloom and deep darkness claim it, Let clouds dwell upon it, let the blackness of the day terrify it. That night, let thick darkness seize it. Let it not rejoice among the days of the year. Let it not come into the number of the months. Behold, let that night be barren. Let no joyful cry enter it. Let those curse it who curse the day, who are ready to rouse up Leviathan.

[00:16:30] Let the stars of its dawn be dark. Let it hope for light, but have none, nor see the eyelids of the morning. Because it did not shut the doors of my mother’s womb, nor hide trouble from my eyes. Why did I not die at birth, come out of the womb and expire? Why did the knees receive me?

[00:16:55] Why did the breasts that I should nurse? For then I would have [00:17:00] laid down and been quiet. I would have slept. Then I would have been at rest, with kings and counselors of the earth, who rebuilt ruins for themselves, or with princes who had gold, who had filled their houses with silver. Or why was I not a hidden stillborn child, as infants who never see the light?

[00:17:22] There the wicked cease from troubling, are at rest. There the prisoners are at ease together, They hear not the voice of the taskmaster. The small and the great are there, And the slave is free from his master. Why is light given to him who is in misery, And life to the bitter in soul?

[00:17:48] Who long for death, but it comes not, And dig for it more than hidden treasures. Who rejoice exceedingly, And are [00:18:00] glad when they find the grave. Why is light given to a man whose way is hidden, whom God has hedged in?

[00:18:09] For my sighing comes instead of my bread, and my groanings are poured out like water. For the thing that I fear comes upon me, and what I dread befalls me. I am not at ease, nor am I quiet. I have no rest, but trouble comes. Whew, that stuff is Deep. You can already see the language, the word pictures he uses to describe wanting to die, talking about the day he was born, all of those word pictures, again, this is a, a poetical type of book.

[00:18:49] So we’re going to talk about Leviathan later on because, God speaks about Leviathan when he comes out of, the [00:19:00] whirlwind, but for now it’s a mythological creature back in the Mesopotamia days and, lived in the sea. More on that later. So, it pretty much speaks for itself here.

[00:19:14] My groanings are poured out like water.

[00:19:16] For the thing that I fear upon me and what I dread befollows me. That’s verse 25 there. Let’s talk about that. I was listening to a podcast of, my own church has a podcast and they interview, members of the church and find out what their story is. How they met the Lord and, many of them have been through some really terrible things and they share that with us.

[00:19:40] And this one guest that we had on the church podcast, lost their daughter in a plane crash and she was 18 years old. And I remember this distinctly that she said, I can endure anything except if God were to make my [00:20:00] family smaller. I could not deal with that. And it happened.

[00:20:05] The very thing that I feared the most happened in my life. Have you been there? I certainly have. Many times. And

[00:20:15] What she had found out is that God was enough for her. God’s presence was enough for her. God’s comfort was enough for her to endure the pain that she went through losing her daughter in that plane crash. If you want to listen to the husband and wife, the shepherds and the podcast is.

[00:20:37] Named after our church, Red Mountain Community Church. Anyway, that’s what came to mind when I was reading this verse that we all have our fears.

[00:20:46] Some of our greatest fears have come true. Some have yet to come, but know this, that those of us that have come out on the other side. That. God is [00:21:00] enough for you. He will be there to comfort you, to make you stronger, to survive. He will give you lessons. He will have you bond with some people that helped you along the way.

[00:21:14] He will make you more compassionate towards others who are going through the same problems. And

[00:21:20] at the same time, we can acknowledge what we’re going through. We can mourn. Like Job is doing here. He is mourning. He is sorry he was ever born. You know, a lot of preachers, they say that’s a sin in itself, that you regret the day you were born. Well, that is a trauma response. I don’t necessarily believe it’s a sin to be so overwhelmed with pain.

[00:21:47] That you wished it’s just easier not to have been born than to go through all this pain but we’re going to talk about this Constantly through the book of job that it’s okay to be sad. [00:22:00] It’s okay to lament It’s okay to ask questions to God. Like I mentioned before all the preachers they would preach this book with the intention of well You shouldn’t be questioning God.

[00:22:12] You shouldn’t be You shouldn’t be depressed. You shouldn’t have any anxiety. You shouldn’t doubt your faith, but it happens. God’s not going to abandon us because we question,

[00:22:24] we’re afraid. That’s what he is there for. God is big enough and we’re going to see that at the end. God is big enough. To take your pain and take your questions.

[00:22:36] I’m going to quote Charles Spurgeon again because he had a lot of suffering in his life. The great preacher of Victorian England, Charles Spurgeon, describes such a season in his own life. I was lying upon my couch during this last week, and my spirits were sunken so low that I could weep by the hour like a child.[00:23:00] [00:23:00] And yet I knew not what I wept for. But a very slight thing will move me to tears just now, and a kind friend was telling me of some poor old soul living near, who was suffering some very great pain, and yet she was full of joy and rejoicing. I was so distressed by hearing of that story and felt so ashamed of myself that I did not know what to do, wondering why I should be in such a state as this, while this poor woman who had a terrible cancer, and was in the most frightful agony.

[00:23:35] Could nevertheless rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory.

[00:23:42] Yeah, that definitely helps to look at other people’s pain. It’s not really fair to compare ourselves because everyone’s pain is different. But it does sometimes help us put it in perspective. Looking at somebody else’s pain, you feel compassion, and you want [00:24:00] to go over and comfort them.

[00:24:01] I noticed that he’s not concerned with keeping appearances.

[00:24:06] He’s not emotionless. He’s not trying to put on this face like a church. We do that a lot, don’t we? We go into church and, how are you sister? Oh, I’m doing great. Praise the Lord. You know, but inside you’re dying, you’re so lonely and depressed and you’ll never say anything because you don’t want to look like you’re unspiritual.

[00:24:30] We’ve got to stop doing that.

[00:24:33] When somebody asks you how you’re doing, say, you know, I’m really struggling with my health or I’m really having a bad day. Let that person comfort you. Let them pray for you. Let them take you over and get you some tea or coffee or just listen. Maybe you don’t have time to listen to your whole story, but don’t just say I’m fine.

[00:24:56] I’m doing great. The church is supposed to be where [00:25:00] we can come and get some comfort from the body of Christ. Now I say that with a warning. There are people who are not safe to confide in. You, you’re gonna have to learn that. Hopefully it’s somebody that you think you can trust.

[00:25:15] Maybe not tell your whole story, but maybe say something. Some of it. The basics. If they react wrongly, then I wouldn’t confide in them anymore.

[00:25:26] He says, I am not at ease, nor am I quiet. I have no rest, for trouble comes. That’s in verse 26.

[00:25:35] That’s how he ends his first speech. It shows us that even a great man of faith can fall into great depression and despair. Nobody’s immune to this. He seems to be more concerned about the loss of his spiritual estate, about the spiritual things. You know, peace with God, fellowship with the Creator. He wants the Lord’s friendship and approval.

[00:25:59] [00:26:00] Not that those things weren’t important that he lost, but he is really good about, responding correctly in that he still has God. God’s way is hidden to him yet. God used Job to teach angelic beings, his life to be an example for us.

[00:26:18] Taught him reliance upon God. Taught him not to regard the wisdom of man so much.

[00:26:24] And God gave him more than he ever had before later.

[00:26:28] He is honest about his feelings.

[00:26:31] But he doesn’t do anything to himself like try and kill himself. He doesn’t, try and commit suicide.

[00:26:38] That was probably an option in those days.

[00:26:40] The only thing I notice in here that Job is wrong about the wicked cease from troubling when they die. Um, this is a wrong perspective. There is punishment for the wicked in this next life. And we’ve talked about, about the different viewpoints. And we’ll maybe talk about that later [00:27:00] throughout the book of Job.

[00:27:00] So I’m going to end the lesson this week here. We’re going to do chapter 4, chapter 5 next, next week. So what I’m going to try and do next week is to summarize what Eliphaz says to Job and what Job’s response is to his so called advice. And we’re not going to go verse by verse where I’m going to take some highlights and some things.

[00:27:29] Some truths that I want you to know.

[00:27:31] So I hope that you got something out of this lesson today Something to encourage you or to get you to dive further into this book and into God’s Word As always any questions, you’re welcome to contact me either social media or email, and

[00:27:48] I will answer it the best I can.

[00:27:50] So thank you for being here with me, and sticking with me. I know this is not an easy book, but there is a happy ending, so hold on to that, okay? We’ll see [00:28:00] you next week. God bless you, and bye for now! Thank you for listening to the Wounds of the Faithful podcast. If this episode has been helpful to you, please hit the subscribe button and tell a friend. You can connect with us at DSW Ministries dot org, where you’ll find our blog along with our Facebook, Twitter, and our YouTube channel links. Hope to see you next week!